So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
