Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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