The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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