i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
