i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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