i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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