Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ruined the universe
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
