i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize