just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
