We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize