Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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