so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
