it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
babies were throwing up all over the place
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
