we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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