It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
