Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do vagina's smell?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
