ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
