Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
