how do flat chested girls get laid?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
as a side note pls kill me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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