fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
