SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
