we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize