Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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