I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
