Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
