Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
