Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
