How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
