worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
