its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
