its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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