dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
