"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
