VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
high people should be assigned attendants
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
