I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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