I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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