and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
