Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
