I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
