During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
