some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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