how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
