I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize