OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
