We named our party play list daddy issues
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
