i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize