so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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