ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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