Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
