Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
