My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Shame is for Republicans.
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