What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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