The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
