shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
do herpes really smell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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