At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Randomize
