is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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