I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
