So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
