Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize