Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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