it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
