It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
