Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
