Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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