So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
