omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize