a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
