she was so not down for the gang bang
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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