I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
